Surviving the Holidays with Democrats
As Thanksgiving approaches, half of the country is jubilant, while the other half is in various stages of grief or panic. Social media has been abuzz with bold admonitions to sever ties with Trump supporters or offering creative ways to rescind or decline various invitations. I would like to offer several different options.
- Be an adult. It is just that easy. Be the grown-up in the room regardless of anyone else’s behavior. We survive the presence of people we disagree with all the time. Many have even learned to feign cordiality in educational or professional arenas. It works exactly the same in the private sector. Smile. Maintain decorum. Let others reveal their immaturity while you stand alone upon the mount of aged civility.
- Honor the elders. If there are grandparents there, understand that they look forward to every single occasion with children or grandchildren present, especially if those occasions are few and far between. For the sincere love and regard I have for my parents, I would not just fall on but hurl myself onto every sword of suffering available or swallow countless unnecessary bitter cups poured out by any other person to avoid their disappointment. I will live to gloat or glare another day. But on this day, I would gladly placate, pacify, and apologize for crimes I have not committed to honor my elders. And you should too.
- Prove them wrong. The worse someone thinks of you, the easier their perception is to overcome. Take Trump for instance. They believe he is Hitler…all he has to do to best them is not be Hitler. Easy peasy. If you have family who thinks you are insane or ignorant…just don’t be. Brilliant, right?! Forego self-immolation between dinner and dessert, particularly if children are present. Not okay. Do not respond to the voices in your head, aloud anyway. Just give a quiet nod or wink when George Washington suggests brandy or wants to show you his wooden teeth. Discuss the arts, the weather…be cultured, and know what foie gras is, but swear never to eat it.
- Turn the fascism down to a 2 or 3. Do not drive your tank over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house. Take one of your less intimidating vehicles or consider Ubering. Consider going shirtless. Brown shirts are a definite no. As well as black, red, gold, blue, green, and white. It’s best to be shirtless at the table with a sensible cardigan or ascot than to appear to belong to any fascist group. Your wisdom in this area will certainly be appreciated.
- Be mysterious or ironic. Consider shaving your head or wearing a blue bracelet and when someone brings up politics nod and knowingly gesture to your wrist or bald head. But say nothing and only respond by repeating what they have just said but with the inflection on a different word. “Trump is going to require everyone to purchase My Pillows!” Trump is going to require everyone to purchase MY pillows?
- Festivus for the rest of us. On Seinfeld, Festivus included “Airing of Grievances” and “Feats of Strength.” Offer the opportunity for anyone who would like to be heard to shout their positions…but then they must also submit to best of two out of three leg wrestling matches in the yard. Only the victor may eat inside. Losers eat outside by the MRAP.
- Find common ground. Make small talk. Ask your progressive family members if they have seen The View recently…or caught Sunny Hostin reading her legal notes…or Whoopi sounding saner by the minute as their ratings plummet.
- Keep calm and gobble on. Turkeys Peach, Blossom, and Hunter were pardoned yesterday by Biden. In that same spirit, allow the turkeys around you to live. That’s it. That’s the whole suggestion. It doesn’t get any better.
- Be thankful. I have friends who have been living in tents since September. I have friends who have lost loved ones to hurricanes, Hamas, and a Honduran driving without a license. Be grateful there are people at your table to disagree with. Allow that gratitude to make you a deep well of patience and kindness.
- Channel your inner Esther. Perhaps you too were made for such a time as this. I know I was. Between teaching teenagers and being on a church staff for 20 years…I thrive on scorn. Being right while walking in rejection looks amazing on me. This is my moment. Get on my level, queen. And king.
Seriously though, what can’t be overcome when we walk in the grace afforded us in Christ or the humility afforded us by our own foolishness? Embrace the hard and awkward. I’ll be danged if I’m too fragile to withstand momentary victory in the company of those who don’t celebrate it.
