Admittedly, there is inconsistency here. I loathe the name-calling that Trump elevated from the 6th grade schoolyard to presidential politics. Yet, here we are.
Some of you have asked about my lovingly assigned “Puddin’ Pops” to Joe Biden and thank you for your very entertaining feedback and questions about the origin. Let me just say, it’s layered.
The low-hanging fruit of Puddin’ Pops is very much a reference to the midday ice cream treats Joe earns as rewards for good behavior and the need for soft food that someone his age requires. Yes, I understand that makes me an ageist. In my defense, there are very, very few elders I would dare disrespect. Biden just happens to be one. The rest can also be found in and around DC…check the ice cream shops. Or in CA’s 11th District.
But the real brilliance behind Puddin’ Pops as a moniker for Biden is more Huxtableian in nature. You know, Cliff? William H. Cosby? It’s that kinda pudding pop. And that Cosby sweater fits Joe just right in all the very wrong ways. So, it stays.
Be disappointed in me and aghast if you must but I assure you I have other much worse flaws. You’ll want to conserve your energy.
Anyhow, I saw the most ridiculous news heralded out of our ridiculous White House today. So much so, I thought it jest.
Concert tickets are hard enough to get, you shouldn’t have to pay surprise service fees on top of that. My Administration is working to crack down on those junk fees, so you know what you are paying for up front.—President Biden
Are you absolutely kidding me? Is the view from his seat so utterly obstructed?? Is it possible that Wandering Celtic got a contact high that led to this completely useless gesture? What was happening at the White House that made this a priority today?? Was Schumer’s standard lowering change in dress code policy pulling such chagrin that it required this “hold my beer” from the west wing?? Where is Jill?
I mean, I can rail justifiably at the unforced errors of the GOP and then there are moments of clarity and hope like this.
Y’all we aren’t getting beat because they are wiser! No way, man. They may have wakened and rallied the forces of darkness to ensure victory, but they are for sure not winning on superior intellect or strategy.
This decision seems to be a case of, “Tell me you saw the recent poll showing voter enthusiasm in 18–24-year-old democrats without telling me you saw the poll.”
You worried, Bro?
In light of all the other very real problems we face, I’m afraid I’m gonna need more than a pledge to abolish scalpers to calm my fears.
I have a few requests. I’m gonna need tickets to Tay-Tay’s 2nd leg of The Eras Tour, a selfie with Travis Kelce’s mom, and a VIP punch card to IHOP so I can order a short stack after the show. After every show. Forever. And I’d like you to bring back 8-tracks, clear up some parking tickets, and a week’s stay at Ceasar’s Palace. I’m gonna give a hard pass on summering at the White House… as long as “Paints with Fingers” is living there.
Put this up there with the Obama phones of old. What else would you expect from Puddin’ Pops Party of Empty Vibes and Bribes? Give the dying and despairing fidget spinners!! They’ll love them!
It’s gonna take more than allowing hoodies in the house and a fake fight with Ticketmaster to ensure sunny futures for young people, Hero. How about secure that border? Maybe stop fentanyl from flowing like DJ Khaled?
Or let’s make it even easier, those may be impossible feats even with the Zsarista Harris on the scene. Let’s forego the concert ticket help and choose instead something basic… like teaching math in math class? Or not having porn in school libraries. Let’s get a few wins under our belt then when we can go back to the tough stuff…like the weaponization of every agency in the federal government or the crushing weight of inflation on middle class budgets.
In the meantime, we will all be comforted by reasonably priced tickets to a fully trans version of Hamilton on Ice. Oooohhh, can we get a pretzel too?!
Honestly, tweets like this are the only thing that make having a Twitter or X or whatever it is account worthwhile. I do suggest you make time to go back for the comments. They are splendid.
🙏🏻❤️