I Hear Wedding Bells! How Kamala is the Wedded Winner for the GOP

Start it today. Make the ads. Send the talking points preemptively. Register and shop for China… Get it? You know, because they already do? I die.

“Kamala Harris is the obvious and only democratic candidate apart from Biden.”

“Vice President Harris is a formidable opponent…”

Someone tell Trump to give Kamala the DeSantis treatment, as the clear competition that she is.

Say it, speak it, shriek it, shout it from every rooftop until it becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. Sing her praises over the incredible job done at the border… and every other place and point the appointed Zsar has failed.


Make Kamala inevitable.


Wed the Democratic party to their chosen-token-choice for VP with bonds that no man can put asunder. Why?

I’m glad you asked.

  • Because choices have consequences. They chose the worst possible VP candidate, and she has performed completely on par with her abilities and potential. MAKE THEM OWN IT.
  • Because it will reveal the shallowness of their commitment to equality. We all know the party of the minority and marginalized is looking frantically for any potential candidate to best their intersectional queen. And they don’t care what color they are. EXPOSE IT.
  • Because it will force their hand. They know Kamala is awful and can’t acknowledge it, lest they reveal their foolishness in anointing her, but they will try to find a substitute and pray no one questions it. QUESTION IT.
  • Because racists gonna racism. If they run a white man, (Hey, Gavin. Hey!) make it about race. If they run a black man, make it about sex. If they run Michelle Obama, make it about establishment entitlement and nepotism. Democrats actually are all the “isms” they project onto others. IDENTIFY IT.
  • Because the truth is the truth. If this presidency has been so successful and everything is better, why would we ever need to pivot away from a continuation of this administration? If they are going to pretend we are all growing weary of winning on their watch and insist on lying through their teeth about the sunny nature of our nation… make them LOVE IT and LIVE IT.


Allow zero chance anyone other than Kamala is the democratic nominee and then force her to stand and answer for every awful policy they have enacted. Aside from fraud and cheating, somewhere in the recesses of my cold, dark heart, I still have hope that the public can be trusted to make wise choices… or at least depressed into staying home.

But I just know the ceremony will be lovely! The wine will flow like the river of lies and well…wine already flowing out of the DNC. Put the bling bling on the ring fing and tie the knot so deadly tight libs could not wiggle out of this word-salad wedding with butter…or anything else. And should this sacrilegious strategy fail…if nothing else the memes from the debates will entertain us in the gulags.

All my best to the happy couple!

–Your friendly neighborhood extremist and salty citizen

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