THIS IS NOT A DRILL! What Fire Alarms and Fetterman Say About the State of Government

What an exciting time to be alive! Who could be sad about our sorry state with all the laughter coming out of DC?! I mean, don’t blink lest you miss the comedic gold being locally, responsibly mined at the capitol!

This weekend found insurrectionist Jamaal Bowman sounding the alarms for “freedom” at the Cannon Building. Literally. A GROWN MAN pulled the fire alarm to impede and obstruct government from carrying out its duties. Or a vote.

By “found”—I mean Jamaal was caught. On camera…pulling a very red, very clearly marked…

FIRE ALARM

on the wall adjacent the very red, very clearly marked signs on the doors…

EMERGENCY EXIT ONLY

Aren’t closed-circuit cameras just the best?!

Upon realizing his freshmen antics got him busted, the junior congressman Jamaal Bowman said, “It was an accident.” To which we add this amazing detail:

• Jamaal is a former middle school principal. At a charter school that we can only assume had functioning fire alarms. So yeah… every principal in the country calls BS on this explanation. Every teacher, adult, student, and literate child calls BS on the “I accidentally pulled a fire alarm” defense.

Apparently, the general public did as well because Jamaal came out with this further explanation:

• He actually pulled the fire alarm on purpose, assuming it would somehow open the emergency doors ahead of him and free him from the chains of tyranny to get to a vote.

Though at no point in recorded history has any such thing ever happened—where man’s intent to have locked doors opened was communicated kinetically to a fire alarm, that was otherwise unconnected or unable to act upon locked doors, and that mental energy transferred from good sir to siren, summoned the power of the gods to open locked doors. I’m gonna check my notes. But I feel pretty comfortable making the claim that this would be a first.

Then Monday happened.  And we got this fun fact:

• Jamaal is on camera removing the two red signs on the door, pulling the alarm (he thought would open the doors)… AND THEN RUNNING TO ANOTHER FLOOR AND LEAVING THROUGH DIFFERENT DOORS.

And everyone everywhere is lining up to provide cover for Bowman with zero sense of shame or embarrassment…with an email from Bowman’s office giving talking points for how to deflect and distract from his crime and pivot to Nazi’s in the GOP. I KID YOU NOT.

This is the democratic party—the one that will waste time and resources with childish pranks to prevent and obstruct the function of government, the one that in the absence of legitimate victory WILL DO ANYTHING to delay, distract, or defeat the will of the people and their elected reps??

What does it say about your character when you try to cover “I’m a liar and a cheater,” with “I’m just ignorant?” How low do you have to be for “I, an educated man, am so unable to process life and language that I can stumble into a felony and create an unnecessary emergency for hundreds of people…if left unchaperoned,” to be the higher ground you are aiming for?

Then we have whatever happened with Schumer, Fetterman, and the House Hoodie Rule… and then the rescinding of it.

Recently Chuck Schumer quietly told the authorities not to enforce the formal dress code in the chamber. Though it seems no one was demanding it, discussing it, or deterred by it.

So why do it? It only impacted Fetterman and his penchant for “working” in gym shorts and sweats. What in the wide world of wool and tweed is going on with Fetterman that he must be afforded such unnecessary measures? What do they know that we don’t that made this kind of PR misstep worth it? Is Fetterman so fragile that allowing him to remain in the security and safety of his sweats is required for him to function? Why the kid-gloves?

Can I just say in full transparency, I know depression. My family knows depression and mental illness. When appropriate (though infrequent) dress becomes a hill one cannot summon the strength to climb, THERE IS A PROBLEM.

But there is also a much greater problem. Like the dumbing down, standard lowering, infantile behavior of our government. We are being ruled by children.

I may mock and make fun because it is in fact ridiculous that these are the conversations we are having to have. But make no mistake—I’m angry. And you probably should be too.

I’m angry that there is such BIPARTISAN disrespect for our nation, its institutions, and its citizens that adults would behave this way and then lie right to our faces about it.

They think we are so very stupid. And we absolutely are if we continue to let them get away with it.

They will let us play the fool as long as we keep auditioning for the part.

I mean the absolute audacity of pulling a fire alarm to delay a vote? Of thinking so little of yourself, your constituents, and your position that you would not dare be inconvenienced with the sky-high standard of zippers to perform your job?

But why would this childishness surprise us? This is the same party of A SUPREME COURT NOMINEE having the nerve to play dumb and coy in her confirmation hearing, “I’m not a biologist so I can’t define what is a woman…” And the room allowed it. The media allowed it.

We have grown accustomed to the most brazen lies being told in the highest and most hallowed halls and everyone smiles politely, arrogantly, AND FOOLISHLY. We have been conditioned to tolerate the most despicable behavior on both sides of the aisle. And in the occasional movie theater. Like this is all a game—and those who govern us? The teenagers with no curfew, no limits, and dad’s wallet to fund their fun.

OH, GROW UP!!!

I apologize again for the tone of this article. It’s blistering. I’m aware. Blistering and entirely appropriate. In fact, a blistering is probably what is missing from more of their formative years.

If they were children there would be consequences by parent or paddle.

But they aren’t children. They are worse. They are adults who have ruled and reigned unregulated, unaccountable to anyone…to the point of criminality.

I would be discouraged and hopeless if I did not have faith that there is indeed One Just Judge and He sees and knows all. I’d also likely behave in much the same manner.

Our global nonsense and shenanigans are the futile efforts and failings of entirely temporal people—tyranny for today with no concern for tomorrow by those who DO NOT FEAR MAN OR GOD.

There’s a reckoning coming in this world, or the next, and there will be no “pull the fire alarm” escape from it. You smell that smoke?

Find this week’s salty take on faith and family here: One More Time for the People in Back…and Atlanta